Shopping between farts

Have you ever sat on the toilet bored to hell between bowel movements and 9gag just didn’t cut it anymore, so you wanted to buy a car but just couldn’t? Well, fret not, because Tesla comes to the rescue!

Elon Musk announced that Tesla will close many stores and let the employees go because they want to increase revenue. Big surprise there.

So how does that help with your toilet situation? If you’re in the USA then you can even order a Tesla with your smartphone app. With your friggin‘ smartphone!!! Buying stuff off of Amazon is just too yesterday… If you live in Europe, you must resort to Tesla’s website and order your Tesla there, you dirty peasant.

I mean, Tesla, have you lost your mind? WHO in their right mind will just go ahead and buy a f***ing car on their smartphone?? I don’t know about you, but buying a car is a major decision that involves careful consideration, test drives, price negotiations, discussions with sales people etc. You’ll forfeit all that for the benefit of … what… not having to bother with physically going to the store like the lowly plebs?

Or is it that Tesla can’t even afford proper showrooms and well-trained sales people anymore when they sell their (very expensive) cars because they have yet to earn any money? Teslas still are a premium product, that most people will never be able to afford, right? Even the Model 3 is more expensive than what most people are able to spend on cars (me included) so I presume that the crowd that actually can afford one will likely be accustomed to and therefore want that customer service experience when purchasing something as expensive as a car.

I am not sure if the ubiquitous buy-online mentality is such a desirable way of thinking after all. We all do it, right? Need something? Go to Amazon. But that furthers laziness and complacency and lowers any barriers to spend money, sometimes resulting in shopaholism and thereby amassing useless stuff and potentially even sliding into debt. Moreover, I am not convinced that efficiency (with respect to money) should be the driving factor behind every last decision that is made, especially if the company’s ultimate goal is nothing less than the improvement of the world. Or so they claim.

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